Romance is an artificial manmade invented seduction poetic unnecessary toxic mental program akin to Don Juan de Marco, Casanova, William Shakespeare, and other poets, seductors, manipulators, or narcissists.
Romance is therefore a dramatic act, it is acted, acted to obtain something (that satisfies), acted to use someone, to gaslight someone, to brainwash someone, to manipulate someone, to convince someone, and to hide true intentions, wether healthy or unhealthy intentions.
Mental programs don’t have to be just good or bad, they just are, they are real, but they are not true, they are just programs, and they run and work, and we all use them, in different versions and amounts, if we know them (saw them).
Personal relationships are transactional and selfish, wether conscious or unconscious. Nothing bad (toxic) about transactional, that can be awesome, but intentions is where is all at, and sometimes we are not even clear on our own intentions, specially if we are lying to ourselves. There is healthy and unhealthy selfish, one is narcissistic and the otherone is empathic.
Fear is the big fog that hides clarity in this subject and what creates the need for fake covert acts.
Healthy love is akin to ‘giving’.
Toxic love is akin to ‘getting’.
Notice how these programs are total opposite yet we all call them by the same title (word): love.
The oxytocin produced by sensual activity attracts us to what we associated with its generation. The mind is very aware of this physical craving sensation, the ego can get attached and frequently fears the loss of a desired “possession” and this whole process is akin to “falling in love” or “butterflies in the stomach”.
To build healthy relationships we can stop using (manipulative) romance, and instead we can work on reducing the distance between our real intentions and what we communicate, which is the same as increasing clarity and honesty. Fear of loss is the obstacle, and to master it we require emotional strength, which is the increasing ability to feel pain without suffering.
Sincerity increases the chance of loss in a conscious transaction, so fear shows up, but healthier outcomes are not to be avoided, even if they are harder to experience.
Andres Rozo E.
Little Ocean Drop